We are taking a family beach vacation in July. For most people, that's a typical summer tradition. For our family, it's our first beach trip in six years. For context, we took one every year for a decade straight.
"Troy, what's the deal?"
Well, for one, our child went through an Abraham Lincoln phase, so one year we visited Springfield, Illinois. Another year we went to New York and saw a play on Broadway. (Side note: New York City on July 4th is not for the faint of heart.) Most of our vacations became centered around whatever he was interested in at the time.
Honestly, they were great trips. We had experiences we probably never would have had otherwise.
Still, while most people would be counting down the days until their toes are in the sand, I'm staring at the calendar like it's a time bomb.
I'm self-employed, which means a week away from the office carries a different weight. A week away means no work is being completed and no invoices are going out.
After nine years of being my own boss, I've noticed one undeniable truth: I cannot relax.
There is always something that needs to be done.
If I'm working on client projects, I'm noticing the yard that needs mowed, the dishes in the sink, and the laundry waiting to be folded. If I'm doing chores around the house, I'm checking email every time my phone chirps or thinking about how I want to tweak a graphic once I've showered and eaten.
Recently, my wife and I were sitting on the porch on a Saturday morning. The dogs were racing up and down the fence line, birds were at the feeders, and it was one of those perfect, peaceful mornings.
My wife looked over and noticed I was buried in my phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Editing a TikTok video."
I showed it to her. We both laughed. It was genuinely funny.
A few moments later she said, "You really can't just sit, can you?"
To be fair, I've always been this way.
I know rest is important. Shutting down and recharging matters. But the truth is, I'm often at my most creative when I'm busy. Ideas show up while I'm focused on something completely unrelated.
I've solved video problems while out for a run. I've figured out appliance repairs while sorting interview footage. Sometimes the brain needs motion before it can find clarity.
So yes, I'll go on vacation.
I'll enjoy the trip with my family. I'll enjoy seeing the ocean—my favorite place on the planet. There will be good food, plenty of laughter, and hopefully some time to simply be present.
But I'll probably still pack my laptop.
I'll definitely bring my camera.
And at some point, while watching the waves roll in, I'll probably think of three new project ideas, a better edit for a video I'm working on, and an entirely new way to solve a problem that had me stuck before we left.
Maybe that's not a flaw.
Maybe that's just how some of us are wired.